Yesterday and today were pretty good days. I am starting to get busy at work, and I like that. So far I am liking my job a lot. Today I drove all over the place doing stuff. It is nice to be able to drive around like that. I actually get to be outside some. I think I would have a hard time at a job that I had to sit down all day. Damian starts his accounting class tonight. He is already there. I hope that he likes it. I am glad that he is trying new stuff. Last night and the night before we were reading our devotional thing. (It has all of the daily reading in it) and it was talking about Hannah. She could not have children. Her husband had two wives and the other wife could have kids. She rubbed it in Hannah's face a lot, and Hannah was very sad. It talks about her not eating and crying to God about wanting a "male child." Her husband asked her what was wrong, and he asked her if he was not enough for her. I thought this was interesting. I guess it has been hard for men and women to communicate about children for a long time. I asked Damian the other day if he was sad that the anniversary of our miscarriage is almost here. He said that he was sad because I was sad. I don't think he would have even remembered that it has almost been a year. That makes me sad, too. Hannah eventually has a child, but I don't think that the Bible talks much about her after that. Her child was Samuel, and they do talk about him. I guess the reading gives me some hope that I won't be so sad about all of this someday. It is weird, too, because I have been thinking about Dad a lot recently. I think my brain has mixed the sadness of losing Dad and the baby. A lot of times I think about them both. Jennifer was talking about some sort of resolution this year. I really don't do those either, but I want to be happier with myself. For the most part I like myself, but I think I have become too bitter. I am a lot more pessimistic than I would like to be. I am starting to think the worst before I think the best. I don't like that. I am not sure how to change this yet, but I am thinking about it.